It's no secret that the economy in our country could be better. Financial institutions as well as auto manufacturers are being bailed out by the federal government to the tune of billions of tax payer's dollars. The airlines are threatening bankruptcy, and unemployment is higher than it's been in years. All of this is hard to handle, but today comes economic news that is more shocking than anything that has happened yet.
Reports from the North Pole tell us that the economic situation for Santa's operation is in serious trouble. It seems that Santa has been operating for years under a misguided business model where he produces billions of dollars of products every year and never receives any payment. An official spokeself for Santa, Papa elf, explains the situation: "We just can't continue to give everything away. I've been trying to convince the boss for years that something has to change, I mean, who can run a business when the only revenue you bring in is milk and cookies?"
When asked what the possible solutions are Papa elf responded, "The way we figure it, we have three choices, we can begin charging kids for big ticket items like video game consoles, bikes, ponies etc. or we can breed more reindeer and get into the ranching business selling items like reindeer skin jackets and reindeer jerky, or we can ask Congress for a $750 billion bailout." Sources close to the situation indicate that Santa will not consider charging kids for toys under any circumstances, and he is afraid of the reaction of environmental groups like PETA and the Sierra Club if he begins with the reindeer projects. It looks as if a bailout of Santa is the only option left.
Wall Street has reacted strongly to the news of Santa's possible economic failure. This morning the Dow is down 700 points and the NASDAQ has dropped 275 points. Reports from Washington are that Henry Paulson has already boarded a private jet and is on his way to meet with Santa and his representatives to try and hammer out a deal to save Christmas.
When notified of the situation, President-elect Obama issued the following statement, "I have always supported Santa and when I take office I will continue to support Santa. It's important in these difficult times that all of us, human, elf, reindeer, grinch, and snowman, come together to work out the best economic solution."
Keep watching CNN (the Christmas News Network) for further updates.
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